Add Me On Facebook
Follow Me On Twitter
Visit My Blog

Kirsten Offers Hope As An
On-line Resource
Prayer Support
Words of Encouragement
Monthly E-Zine
Inspiration At Your Next Event

The Wide Road of Date Rape
I called my best friend Janine when her older brother Josh answered the phone. He said his sister was out of town with their parents, but he encouraged me to come over to talk. I needed a shoulder to cry on, heartbroken, my boyfriend had just left me to go back to his ex-girlfriend.

I strolled down my long driveway as the sun set. The silhouette of olive trees offered a sense of peace against the orange fiery sky in the distance. Crossing over the small bridge along our driveway I heard the trickle of water in the creek, shallow that time of year. I smiled thinking of my childhood just a few years ago, wading in the rushing water after a rainy day with my twin brother and my younger sister.
 
We lived on what was once a small country road with a handful of ranches and cattle crossings. New housing developments now surrounded our acre of land. I headed up the long dark pathway to Josh’s house using the porch light as my guide on that Friday night.

Josh greeted me at the door inviting me in like a gentleman. His dark wavy hair had grown out from his military crew cut when I last saw him. He offered me a seat on the sofa giving me a glass of wine. 
 
Josh’s dark eyes, long lashes and square jaw captivated me. With sincerity he asked, “Now tell me what’s going on with you and your boyfriend?” He knew Ed from high school, but they were never friends.
 
As I explained that Ed broke up with me to go back with his ex-girlfriend Josh listened making me feel special. When I looked up I met his eyes. He leaned in giving me a kiss that felt tender and compassionate. Taking my hand he led me to the bedroom nearby. I felt uncomfortable, but unsure of what to do. He leaned me back on the bed kissing me and touching me. 

I turned my face and said, “No, Josh. Let's not do this.”

Speaking tenderly, he whispered that he loved me, that he wanted to be with me, and then before I realized what was happening he pushed his way into me. I laid there motionless and numb as he used me for his pleasure. He collapsed beside me until a moment later when he heard a noise at the front door. Josh jumped to his feet. “Damn,” he said, "they’re here."

"Who's here?"

"Shhh. Come on. I’ve got to get you upstairs quickly.” I pulled up my shorts, my heart pounding as I heard voices. Waiting for the right moment he opened the bedroom door, took my hand, and pulled me upstairs to the bathroom.
 
He leaned against the door and whispered, “My parent’s friends are staying here while my parents are away.” He smiled mischievously, “So, I won’t be a bad boy. Now I have to get you out of here.” 

We quietly went downstairs, out of the house, and into his car. He drove around my circular driveway stopping at my door step. I turned to face him wondering if he would give me a kiss, but he said, “See ya.” That’s when I knew. Josh never loved me. 

I headed straight for my room passing my mother in the living room; relieved that she never noticed me. Alone in my room the scene played over and over in my mind. I tried to understand what I did wrong. I was inexperienced and my chest was small. I felt inadequate. I wanted to hide from embarrassment.
 
Stepping into my closet my legs collapsed under me, I curled up in the corner, tears wet my face. Suddenly, concerned that my mother might come in, I quickly got up. No one could see me this way. I went to my vanity to wipe the smeared mascara from my cheeks.
 
Alone in my room I fixed my make-up the night I lost my virginity. Read more.