In Step With God: Understanding His Ways an...
by Dr. Charles F. Stanley
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Kirsten Strawn
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Family is important. We are created to be in relationship with our family. The Bible says, “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever,” (1Timothy 5:8).
Ouch, that hurts. The truth is God wants to impress upon us that we are to be responsible for our family. How different our society would be if everyone took care of their relatives...no more social security, no more welfare, no more homelessness, no more taxes...in a perfect world.
The family unit is designed to provide a safe, secure and loving environment. Of course, there is evidence all around us that not all families achieve this ideal. In fact, most families fall short. We often fail each other due to our sinful and selfish nature. On the other hand, tough love may be the only option for someone to get the help they need.
Families are complicated. Struggles exist in most families. But we do the best job we know how in raising our children. There's comfort in knowing we are not perfect. We can forgive ourselves for the mistakes we made. We can offer this same grace to those who raised us. They were only capable of doing what was done for them, until healing occurs.
Patricia was ten when her mother died of ovarian cancer leaving Patricia and her seven year old sister motherless. Their father devestated by the loss of his wife was unable to cope with the responsibility of raising two young daughters. He moved his family to Oregon where his deceased wife’s brother, Earl and Daisy, offered to help raise their nieces.
Daisy understood the loss of a mother. She was thirteen when her own mother was taken by breast cancer. When Daisy’s mother died, her father remarried abandoning Daisy to live permanently with her aunt.
Years later Daisy took on the job of raising her nieces. She did what her relatives did for her. Emotionally detached Daisy told Patricia, "Stop acting like a child and grow-up." My mother received no comfort for her loss, but was expected to act like a responsible adult from the age of ten after her mother died.
The way my mother was abandoned by her mother, then by her father to be raised by a controlling and abrasive aunt impacted her choice of who she married and how she parented. Detached emotionally and on survivor mode for most of her twenty-one years of marriage she made some unhealthy decisions around the divorce that she later regretted.
Today my mother is one of my best friends, my advocate, my encourager, and a special woman who serves her family and community. She has a close loving relationship with all three children due to the healing power of Jesus. She has asked for forgiveness and has made the effort to restore her relationships.
Our family is imperfect; we are imperfect, but we have a perfect God who never makes mistakes. God did the picking of our family. He knit us together in our mother's womb. Does He want us to suffer? No, of course not. He has given us freewill to choose to follow him or our own selfish desires. The pain and suffering in this world are from those people who turn from God.
We are shaped and molded into the people we are today largely due to our family and our personal experiences. We must choose not to be bitter, but to be more sensitive to others who are suffering. Trust God that He put you where He wanted you.
As a follower of Jesus Christ we have another family. I found my church family, in some ways, to be more available in our time of need. My biological family lived out of town when my son had leukemia. Our church family provided meals, prayers, childcare, emotional and spiritual support during our struggle.
God has designed the church to stand in the gap as sisters and brothers in Christ. We are family.
- What would life be like if you never had your family?
- Is there a relative that made a difference in your life?
- Do you know how much God loves you?
1 Timothy 5:16
If any woman who is a believer has widows in her family, she should help them and not let the church be burdened with them, so that the church can help those widows who are really in need.
Mark 5:19
Jesus did not let him, but said, "Go home to your family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you."
Acts 10:2
He and all his family were devout and God-fearing; he gave generously to those in need and prayed to God regularly.
Acts 16:33
At that hour of the night the jailer took them and washed their wounds; then immediately he and all his family were baptized.
Acts 16:34
The jailer brought them into his house and set a meal before them; he was filled with joy because he had come to believe in God—he and his whole family.
Galatians 6:10
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.
