Kirsten Strawn
The Faith Coach
Empowering You To Experience God's Power, Peace And Presence
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5. Distrust: If your spouse was unable to show self-control before marriage what makes him or her have self-control after marriage? Many people have affairs because they have never demonstrated control of their sexual drive prior to the marriage vows. Premarital sex can lead to adultery, which is a high cause of divorce.
6. Detachment: When we give ourselves away prior to marriage we share the most intimate part of ourselves with someone. Each time we are rejected or hurt we disconnect emotionally to protect ourselves from further pain. Eventually we get married without the attachment or emotional connection we should have to our spouse and lifetime partner.
7. Death: The Bible talks about spiritual death when we choose to disobey God. In Romans chapter six God asks, "What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things resulted in death!" In addition to spiritual death over a million deaths occur in the United States each year of innocent unborn children largely due to sex outside of marriage.
Notice that the Biblical definition of love is not at all about sex. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (1Corinthians 13:4-7)
Sexual intimacy is not love unless it’s in the confines of marriage. God created sex for marriage. It’s a beautiful way to be intimate with the person you adore, respect, and trust. You want someone who appreciates and protects you, is loving and kind and compassionate, and has your best interest in mind.
Sex before marriage is lust. It's self-gratification and selfish. Sexual intimacy in marriage is about loving your spouse for who they are not for what they do. Love is willing to wait, to be patient, not demanding. We are not created emotionally, spiritually or mentally to be intimate without a marriage commitment.
Remember you are special. You deserve to be honored, cherished, and respected. When Mr. Right comes along (for you guys Miss Right) and you wait until marriage then your relationship will be built on mutual respect, friendship, and trust that will endure the trials that come over time.
You may be asking, how do I stay sexually pure before marriage? It may sound impossible in today's sexually promiscuous society, but it can be done. First, avoid situations where you can be vulnerable. Don't be in a house alone with the opposite sex or in some cases the same sex. Today sexual pressure is happening from the same sex, people wanting to experiment. Recognize the signs of sexual innuendos and don't allow yourself to be around these people alone.
Be confident and in control by saying, "No. I'm not interested in sex." Don't have a spirit of fear, but of courage that comes from God. "Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified (afraid, fearful). Do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go," (Joshua 1:9).
Do not drink alcohol or take drugs. Research shows that substance use is one of the leading causes to sexual activity and date rape. Do not leave your drink unattended where someone can slip you a date rape drug.
Flee from situations that set you up for going down the road of hooking up. Listen to your feelings when you are uncomfortable. That is the Spirit of God warning you to leave immediately. Women have had these feelings, but dismissed them becoming the victim of rape, date-rape, or sexual pressure.
Pray for God's power and strength to resist temptation. If you believe Jesus died for your sins, you have invited him into your heart to live and reign then you have the Holy Spirit in you. He will give you resurrection power to withstand temptation. You can make a choice to say no to sexual immorality.
The power is in you.
1Corinthians 6:13-17, The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.
1Corinthians 6:18-20 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
Romans 6:18-23
What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things resulted in death! But now that you have been set free from sin...the benefit you reap leads to holiness and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus.
