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Ten Steps to Loving You So You Can Love Others
First we need to ask, what is love? The Random House Dictionary describes love as, a profoundly tender, passionate affection for a person of the opposite sex; a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child or friend; and third, a sexual passion or desire or its gratification.

Here's a more complete definition of love from First Corinthians: 

“Love is patient and kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails.” 

God’s definition truly encapsulates what love is all about. Love is an action. And notice it's not about sexual intimacy. With God's definition in mind here are ways to love yourself to be able to love others.

1.) Forgive Yourself:
Love keeps no record of wrongs. Don’t let the negative tapes of what you did or the labels of what others said about you play over and over in your mind. God loves you so much he sent his son Jesus to die on the cross for you. You are forgiven.

Claim God's promise in 1John 1:9, “When we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and purify us of all unrighteousness.” We are renewed when we confess our sin. Know that you are forgiven by his blood poured out for your sin. We’re not perfect, but we are made perfect through the only one who is perfect, Jesus Christ.

Know that God loves you. Confess your sin immediately and you will begin to be transformed into the likeness of Jesus. When we invite Jesus into our heart we are a new creation. The old is gone and we begin a new life with the Holy Spirit in us. We have resurrection power to change little by little. We are in a process that God says he will bring to completion. Don't let Satan remind you of what God has forgotten. 

2.) Slow Down:
When I’m exhausted and stressed, I’m no good to anyone! In fact, I can be rude and easily angered, which is unloving to myself and others. God wants us to have peace of mind, but many of us don’t know what that looks like. Busy can appear productive, successful, a life with purpose at the expense of our relationships.

At one time my four children were at four different schools. I tried to be Super Mom by volunteering in each of their classrooms. Activities like work, volunteering, cleaning house, shopping can be meaningful, important and even necessary areas of life. The questions I now ask myself, “Am I too busy to spend time with my loved ones, am I doing the things I really enjoy doing, and am I at peace in my relationships?”

For every new project we commit to we give up something else, usually less time doing what we love. Slow down to evaluate your life right now. Make a list of all your activities and eliminate what you can.
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