These five love languages are a brief summary of Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages. In it, Chapman discusses how different people show and receive love differently. When two people speak different languages they can repeat themselves over and over but the other person will never understand what they are saying, until they learn each other’s language. In the same way, we may feel that we let others know how much we love them regularly but if they speak a different love language, they may still feel “unloved” or visa versa.
Be wise in how you respond in your relationships. Approach every conversation or confrontation with the intent to gain understanding into what makes them unique. Be slow to respond and quick to listen to gain clarity. We are all created differently to come together to accomplish great things. If we were all the same nothing would get done. Instead of becoming frustrated, we can rejoice in the way we are different. In fact, the following steps can turn a confrontation into connectedness when you put the focus onto learning about others.
First we need to ask, what is love? The Random House Dictionary describes love as: 1) a profoundly tender, passionate affection for a person of the opposite sex; 2) a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child or friend; 3) a sexual passion or desire or its gratification.
Here’s God’s more complete definition of love from First Corinthians:
“Love is patient and kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails.”
God’s definition truly encapsulates what love is all about. Love is an action. And notice it’s not about sexual intimacy. With God’s definition in mind here are ways to love yourself to be able to love others.